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How to make a cat love you?

For lots of the cat owners, having a cat that truly loves you is very rewarding.  However, not every cat is as loving as you expect.  How can we make a cat love us?  Here are some tips.

1. Give time to your cat to develop its trust to you.

I recently adopted a cat from animal shelter.  Worker in shelter warned me "'She is a sweet cat but she's shy. We were afraid that nobody wants her."  After taking her home, she became a lot more aggressive than she was in the shelter. 3 weeks later, she still refused me to approach her.  She always kept 3 feet distance from me.  I was sad but I respected her feeling and held on to my desire of petting her.  I understood that a kitten behaved this way was more out of insecurity than hatred to human being, especially she was a strayed cat and was kept in the cell of shelter for a while.  She needed more time and love to be socialized again.  

As I constantly walked pass her, and gave her treats. Gradually she grew comfortable with my presence.  As of now, instead of running and hiding under sofa, she stays lying on the ground when I am near her.  Sometimes she even comes forward willingly asking for petting.  I am so happy to see the bond between us grows with time.   

In short, don't just pour your love to your cat when she/he is not ready. Consider how your cat feels and give her/him love at the pace she/he is comfortable with.


2. Just be as kind as possible 

Although it’s said that cat has short memories, all animals have awesome associated memories. If you punish a cat after you catch her, she associates you catching her with potential dangers.  She will be less willing to trust you and try to run away from you.  This is especially true with a shy cat.  I was once mad at my shelter cat when she pooped on my carpet.  She’s afraid of me for a long time.  Every time I came home, she went straight to hide under the bed.  It was a bad decision to punish her when the fences could be cleaned easily with carpet cleaner. 

In order for me to regain her trust, I began to take advantage of her feeding time.  Whenever it was time to feed her, I petted her first before giving her food.  Unwilling as she was, she learned that letting me pet her is the only way to get food.  Gradually, she was totally OK with everything from touching her fur to holding her completely in my arms.  I have never punished her ever since, and apparently, she forgot that incident and associated me with the pleasure of food.  

I do believe there is an universal language that can be understood through different species – kindness. You will know if a cat or a dog is friendly.  Pets can also feel the same way.  If you constantly show your kindness and love to them, they will know you are kind and harmless.  They will at least not post you as a thread, if not as a friend.  Moreover, it is said that cat communicates with eye contact.  They express their love to you by looking into your eyes gently.  Therefore, whenever I have eye contact with my cat, I respond her staring by looking back into her eyes for a min or two. I think this technique works.  I definitely feel my cat loves me more than before.


3.Play with your cat

Playing is a great interaction between you and the furry ball.  If you have an indoor cat, she is in the house 24/7, and also basically all her life as well.  While you get all the exciting things around you, your cat is most likely bored to death at home.  Get some toys and spend at least 15 mins a day to play with your cat.  A little bit spare time with your cat goes a long way.  She will appreciate it so much!  My cat sometimes will just bring me her toy to beg for playing.  However, ever since that wand toy was torn, she lost most of her interest in me and slept all day. Sad as I am, it really shows how much she likes to play though.  


4.Don’t force your cat do things.

 They act instinctively. If they are unhappy, they let you know and seldom surrender at your wishes. I love my cat cuddling near me to sleep at night.  I can't remember how many nights I try to hold her in my arms and bury my face into her soft fur.  She doesn't like how I want to confine her in my hug and she seizes every available moment to escape.  If I don’t let her run away as she wants, she makes complaint meows and pushes my hands away with all her four paws constantly.  She just won’t stay! What’s worse? At least she comes to the end of my bed to sleep before I do all these to her over and over again.  Now she won’t even sleep on the bed.  For other cat though, as she doesn’t have the soft fur, I leave her alone most of the time.  As a result? she sleeps in the bed every single night and doesn’t mind cuddling close to me at all.  Lesson learn.. If your cat doesn’t like it, just leave her alone and forget about your wishes of forcing her until she accepts it..

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